On the Lighter Side of Armageddon

TGIF! It's been an interesting week, no? And you're tired of the doom and gloom, disorder and dismemberment, right?

On the comic relief front, we're all going to miss Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, who insisted "There are no American infidels in Baghdad" as Baghdad fell around his ears.

I could visualize Saeed assuring us "everything is normal" as tanks roll past his camera set-up, a statue of Saddam is dragged the other direction, then a crowd of looters carries off successively more ludicrous items of plunder. [Recall Jim Carrey's classic camera-hog sketches on "In Living Color", where he traipses back and forth behind an earnest stand-up reporter, with ever-escalating can-you-top-this antics].

But there's good news tonight, Mr. And Mrs. America and ships at sea! There is now a Saeed website dedicated to "history's funniest straight man". Contests, T-shirts and everything! (Site may be swamped, see overflow site here.)

We still have Ari Fleischer to kick around ... and Pentagon spokesperson Tori Clarke: "In Umm Qasr, the water supply is above prewar levels ... electricity is restored; sufficient food is readily available. The medical facilities are sufficient and operating." (For a selection of dissenting views, you could try googling Qasr + Hell.)

I loved Larry King's description of the carrier USS Constellation as "bound for Baghdad"! (A multi-billion dollar dredging contract for some well-known global construction services enterprise, I'll wager.)

Can't forget the Basra bank looters who used RPGs to crack the safe ... and thereby incinerated the contents.

Hoist a brew to the coalition forces who fired a round at a Saddam statue, failing to topple it but very neatly blowing it's ass off!

I salute the "Support Our Troops" demonstrator who saluted fellow New Yorker Cpl. Chin, who put the collar on Saddam at the Great Toppling in Firdos Square: "hadda be a Brooklyn guy, y'know, he's got that ... ingenuitivity".

I shall leave nameless the sleep-deprived embed who described an Air Assault operation as a proud day for our "Aerosol Attack Division".

Finally, Aaron Brown asked a gung-ho CENTCOM briefer "we've heard such-and-such, does CENTCOM know anything?". The briefer launched into a good long minute of posture-spin ... emphasizing that the Coalition attaches great importance to such-and-such, that Coalition leaders are all on board and in the loop, that units in the field are well-trained in such-and-such, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. Aaron Brown: "Ok, fine, but does CENTCOM know anything?" Briefer: "no".

Those are my faves ... you must have some I've missed. Please share, unless your best is "you idiots are so funny I just had to laugh". On that score, we already know.

Update: Wednesday's South Park episode was excellent. Hawks vs doves, Cartman goes back in time, meets the Framers and discovers this country was founded on the principle of saying one thing and doing something completely different. A very sophisticated game-theoretic wrap-up shows why that might be a good (and necessary) strategy. Recommended for viewers in both camps ... repeats Saturday, Comedy Channel, check local listings.

RonK, Seattle

Posted April 11, 2003 12:21 PM | Comments (41)